Are we prepared for grieving?
Last week, media from around the world broadcasted from Spain, the images of one of the most difficult rescues in history. Julen a two years old toddler died after falling into a 71-meter-high pit (equivalent to a ten-floor building) and only 30 centimeters wide. His family, which had already lost a previous child of three years, is devastated, along with the personnel who participated in the rescue.
I have always thought that our existence is a miracle. We came to love, learn and fulfill our life mission, until the day when it comes our time to return to infinity.
Sorrows like this lived in Spain, are born of the feeling of loss that can generate a strong emotional attachment to something or someone. Others are not necessarily linked to physical death. We suffer because someone leaves ―whether from this plane or moves away― or because something we cling to is over: a friendship, a relationship, a job, a life cycle.
Are we prepared for grieving? In general, we prefer to avoid the topic until reality knocks on the door. Those left behind deal with the complex situation. Going through mourning or grief is to recognize our vulnerability to the emptiness generated in our soul, but many times we seek to fill it with issues that often don’t do good on us.
According to psychologists, grieves are experienced from five stages: denial, anger, negotiation, depression, and acceptance.
Statistically, at least 5% of families worldwide experience the loss of a loved one each year. From that percentage, at least 10% of them become pathological; in other words; the mourner remains in the initial phase of denial.
In this stage, the person leaves and orders the belongings of the deceased as if nothing had happened, can see his face everywhere or even go further and adopt the personality and characteristics of the deceased. A person can stay there indefinitely, but if he or she does not receive help, his or her disorder can lead to suicide.
Jorge Bucay, an Argentinian writer and therapist, often says that the worst enemy in the duel is not to love yourself but also explains that every person has its own time to overcome the loss since not all of us experience pain in the same way.
Therefore, each morning when we get up, we should be grateful not only for having another day to carry out our purposes but also for the things that begin and end.
Although it is difficult, we must be aware of the temporality of everything. Let’s learn to live from love, and always practice gratitude and detachment! Those will always be our best weapons to survive the inevitability of grief.